Not feeling too good ?
Now, there's not much I can do for you. Just know that I understand that, I understand pain. I urge you to do what I try to do: use pain as a reservoir of expression, canalized in an effort of "art therapy".
I guess I'm in no position to talk, or to display advice on the internet. But then why do I decide to do so ? This was never the point of this initiative. Yet I feel like it might be a necessary adjustment